Back

Chapter 4 of this book focuses on the importance of pleasure and self-care in improving mood and resilience to stress. The author acknowledges that these ideas may seem simple, but emphasizes that they are essential for building a strong foundation for personal growth and overcoming self-sabotage. The chapter begins with a discussion of the denial-binge cycle, in which individuals deny themselves pleasure because they believe they do not deserve it, which leads to a rebound in overindulgence later. The author encourages readers to allow themselves experiences of pleasure, as these can increase feelings of self-worth and rejuvenate the mind.

The chapter then presents five experiments to help readers identify sources of positive emotions in their lives. The first experiment asks readers to consider what simple behaviors feel luxurious to them, even if they are free or inexpensive. Readers are encouraged to create a list of personal examples, such as browsing leisurely in a grocery store or taking long showers. The second experiment focuses on behaviors that can be pleasurable or feel like a chore depending on the context. Examples include cleaning a swimming pool as a relaxing break from work or driving as a break from intensive work.

The third experiment explores the linking of simple pleasures to naturally stressful times in life. The author gives the example of packing peanut butter sandwiches for flights as a pleasurable ritual that reduces stress. The fourth experiment is about finding pleasurable activities that go against one’s personality. The author shares an example of an introvert enjoying brief interactions with strangers during travel. The fifth experiment asks readers to consider their purpose in life and how they can link it to simple pleasures. For example, if being a good role model is considered one’s purpose, they could find ways to incorporate fun activities with their children or partner.

The chapter then discusses problem-solving barriers to experiencing pleasure. The author emphasizes the importance of maintaining habits and routines that support self-care, and suggests creating systems or processes to ensure that simple pleasures are not hindered by small obstacles. The next section focuses on self-care during uncomfortable emotions. The author explains that negative emotions serve a purpose and can provide useful information or motivation for action. They suggest a step-by-step strategy for coping with negative emotions, including taking slower breaths, accurately labeling emotions, accepting the presence of negative emotions, and determining if the emotion is providing useful information or if it is a false alarm. The author also includes a table outlining self-sabotaging responses to specific emotions and more useful responses that can be practiced.

The chapter concludes by discussing cycles of diminishing self-care and the importance of recognizing when stress is disrupting self-care routines. The author provides examples of how stress can affect de-stressing, socializing, and organizing behaviors. The chapter also covers early and late warning signs that indicate the need for a break and suggests creating an “If This, Then That” plan to respond to these signs. The author encourages readers to identify signs that they are taking good care of themselves and emphasizes that practicing self-care does not hinder productivity but actually leads to better decision-making and overall well-being. The chapter ends with a reflection exercise for readers to summarize their main takeaways from the chapter and set personal goals for integrating self-care into their lives.

Words: 554